Me, Myself and I....?

"Later that day I got to thinking about relationships. There are those that open you up to something new and exotic, those that are old and familiar, those that bring up lots of questions, those that bring you somewhere unexpected, those that bring you far from where you started, and those that bring you back. But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship is the one you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love the you you love, well, thats just fabulous." -SATC (sex and the city)

Somewhere between being a fundamental and insecure person I dive into a world of endless possibilities when I think about realtionships.. you know- where will this one go? how does he REALLY see me? do my insecurities linger in an inevidable ora in which I cannot help? do I endlessly lurk around and judge everyone because I cant seem to find my place in any relationship? UGH... and the list goes ON.

As my obsession with Sex and The City continues I love this quote because it cant become any more real than this. I find myself trying to control every step of every relationship except for the one I have with myself. It isnt exciting for me... how the heck do I even manage to begin a relationship with myself? Or maybe I have ample opportunities but I completely overlook them for what "I need to be doing"...? For instance, I go to get mani/pedi's all the time by myself... and I also take long walks by myself... but what excatly does it mean to establish an exciting relationship with myself?!?! --am I a little crazy for not understanding?

im just a bit controlling -.-

The Sermon

It should come as no surprise that I'm all about God and faith... When I have to give advice I usually always share that I am a firm believer in prayer.
Ironically enough, I don't always pray when I'm hit hard with the overload of life and everything that comes with living.
Today I went to church; the sermon was about prayer and how we must pray... My pastor directed us to a passage in the bible that was in the book of 2 Chronicles..
The passage said we must first humble ourselves, pray... (I can't remember the exact verse), as I read along with my pastor to the words in the bible
As God mentioned how important it is to pray, I began to believe what I preach even more so.
I am a firm believer in prayer and how miraculous prayer can be!
The pastor had a 9yr old come to the stage and say why prayer was important to him
And at first I'm like okay maybe u were given a script but absolutely not, he said sometimes God doesn't answer your prayer right away
Because it isn't fit in his eyes yet for you, and sometimes he won't give u what u ask for but Its for your own good.
Hearing this come from a 9 year old; shocked me for good. I couldn't believe that what he was saying was so true.
God is real and so amazing...
The pastor also went on about saying how the average person prays about 3-5min a day... And that's pathetic! Think about it.. If Jesus is supposed to be our friend then why are we minimizing our
Problems for him? If he wants it all and asks us to just give him our burdens, then how can we share our burndens with him let alone give them to him in within a time-span on 3-5 min?
I mean seriously... If Jesus was a friend of mine that was physically here and I was telling him my issues it would take way more than 3-5 minutes to tell him
Any story!!
So all I'm saying is... He asks for me to tell him my worries and my fears my pain and my happiness... Everything!
He has provided me with so much; I should give him more time in my day!

God is good all the time, All the time; God is good*
=)

Crazy assignment- Step 1

Okay so, today in my sociology class I ran through so many emotions... I felt like my professor was just pulling my leg altogether. First I got a D on my midterm- I totally suck at taking tests (feeling failure like) and then... he's in casual conversation with class and he decides to share that he has 11 dogs, a donkey and a horse (feeling upset lol) I mean seriously? So I literally asked him if he was kidding only to find out he was very serious -as he continued to share exactly what kind of dogs lived in his house. So all along Im thinking the guy is a clean person because he always shows up clean and ironed and he's pretty smart & intellectual- but now he pist in my corn flakes (as my boyfriend would say) because he has eleven dogs that live inside of his house. whatever. Anyways.. every one is free to do what they please I might just be a little off today lol.

Just when I thought I was done running a train through my emotions, he puts us into groups. I just happen to be in Group 7. Cool, not at all coincidental since 7 is my favorite number... I just so happen to be the only girl in the group (3 guys). Our next step in class was to exchange information with our group members and pick a little piece of paper from a little box and that little piece of paper entailed the topic to which our group had to "research". One of the members of the group chose the best topic of life (sarcastically said) As I held my breath hoping for a civil topic.... I read in BIG BOLD LETTERS (FETISH NIGHT CLUBS -BONDAGE/FOOT) (feeling of confusion).

As the class continues being informative- he explains that which ever topic we have chosen we must put ourselves within the specified environment and see from a selfless point of view the different ways and things these people do/feel. So I'm thinking to myself... are you kidding me (once again he wasn't). I must admit it will be interesting but just know--- this is step one of the process and I cant wait to let you know how crazy it will be when I go to these fetish night clubs and experience some crazy crap. I let you know if someone goes hard when they see my feet LOL

&& that's ALL folks...

p/s: wait for Step TWO.

In my mind.. P.A.R.A.D.I.S.E.

Paradise to me is probably cliche in the minds of all others but ask me if I care?.. if by any chance youre asking; NO. I care for a completely peaceful and relaxing journey that entails nature and everything that is sewn within what it reaps. I want to be in a land full of green with different shades of colors... exotic flowers... random flows of water all along the path... I would like to walk along the path of some sort of sand in which I can feel like one intertwined with the wind...

If I had magical powers I'd be here right now... just staring in awe..... wouldnt you?

And If I were here now I'd probably be bathing in the waterfall; most refreshing bath of life*

This picture just gives out such peace doesnt it?

I dont do hiking... but I would on this path ;)

And just when I feel like giving up and feeling like there has got to be more to life... I would walk this path.. (if only it exists..)