Crazy assignment- Step 1

Okay so, today in my sociology class I ran through so many emotions... I felt like my professor was just pulling my leg altogether. First I got a D on my midterm- I totally suck at taking tests (feeling failure like) and then... he's in casual conversation with class and he decides to share that he has 11 dogs, a donkey and a horse (feeling upset lol) I mean seriously? So I literally asked him if he was kidding only to find out he was very serious -as he continued to share exactly what kind of dogs lived in his house. So all along Im thinking the guy is a clean person because he always shows up clean and ironed and he's pretty smart & intellectual- but now he pist in my corn flakes (as my boyfriend would say) because he has eleven dogs that live inside of his house. whatever. Anyways.. every one is free to do what they please I might just be a little off today lol.

Just when I thought I was done running a train through my emotions, he puts us into groups. I just happen to be in Group 7. Cool, not at all coincidental since 7 is my favorite number... I just so happen to be the only girl in the group (3 guys). Our next step in class was to exchange information with our group members and pick a little piece of paper from a little box and that little piece of paper entailed the topic to which our group had to "research". One of the members of the group chose the best topic of life (sarcastically said) As I held my breath hoping for a civil topic.... I read in BIG BOLD LETTERS (FETISH NIGHT CLUBS -BONDAGE/FOOT) (feeling of confusion).

As the class continues being informative- he explains that which ever topic we have chosen we must put ourselves within the specified environment and see from a selfless point of view the different ways and things these people do/feel. So I'm thinking to myself... are you kidding me (once again he wasn't). I must admit it will be interesting but just know--- this is step one of the process and I cant wait to let you know how crazy it will be when I go to these fetish night clubs and experience some crazy crap. I let you know if someone goes hard when they see my feet LOL

&& that's ALL folks...

p/s: wait for Step TWO.

In my mind.. P.A.R.A.D.I.S.E.

Paradise to me is probably cliche in the minds of all others but ask me if I care?.. if by any chance youre asking; NO. I care for a completely peaceful and relaxing journey that entails nature and everything that is sewn within what it reaps. I want to be in a land full of green with different shades of colors... exotic flowers... random flows of water all along the path... I would like to walk along the path of some sort of sand in which I can feel like one intertwined with the wind...

If I had magical powers I'd be here right now... just staring in awe..... wouldnt you?

And If I were here now I'd probably be bathing in the waterfall; most refreshing bath of life*

This picture just gives out such peace doesnt it?

I dont do hiking... but I would on this path ;)

And just when I feel like giving up and feeling like there has got to be more to life... I would walk this path.. (if only it exists..)

Valentines Day

Its been a while since Ive blogged but let me just clarify; I actually have a life (school, work, social life, school, school, boyfriend and more school. Though I have been extra ordinarily busy, I still have so many great blog topics that I would love to get in to. However, this time around I want to talk about "Valentines Day".

Last Sabbath at church, my best friend Alexsis did an ice breaker for youth church that was great... it included love within a bible verse. The bible verse read like this

"Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance." -1 Corinthians 13:4-7

The point of the ice breaker was to have someone out of 4 groups to memorize the bible verse and recite as much as they remember within 5 minutes. Needless to say it was a great idea considering the fact that within the following two days it was Valentines day. =)

My valentines day was full of greatness! My boyfriend went all the way out for my giftS and I was totally grateful (by the way yes, I got him gifts too). Anyways, the day reminded me of every day I spend with my boyfriend... he always manages to show me how much he loves me and it reminded me that the holiday isn't and shouldn't be the only day we ladies or men dress up for each other and buy each other cards of gifts... it should be regularly....

I must admit, I am guilty of using the word 'love' in vain. I never knew the true meaning of love until I met my current boyfriend. He has taught me patience, true happiness, gentleness, guidance and love. I never knew how much a human could actually show love... I didn't know love had the potential to grow.. My boyfriend and I have been through many trials but we've overcome them and I'm so happy now.. because those endeavours have made us stronger. (p.s. I love him... if you haven't already gathered that)

Hopefully your Valentines Day was great and I hope it stood for real Love.
Crushes are cute too hehe =]

Power in decision..

Sometimes, I don't know where to begin in my thought process...
I don't know where to begin, where not to obsess, and when to stop.
I always get to that breaking point... that suggests I stop and when I realize what a race I just put my mind through I begin to pray.
Prayer is so powerful.
Many say "when in doubt, pray." and I believe it.

(a little background info on myself)
I grew up in a Seventh Day Adventist household.... "thou shall keep the Sabbath day Holy" and in my household, we did. I grew up in a state of wonder.. I didn't know what I was in but all I needed to know was "it was right". Often I wondered why I was in this religion considering the fact that I couldn't eat certain foods, I wasn't allowed to go out on Friday nights and early every Saturday morning my family and I would go to church (when I say family I simply meant my house hold because the rest of my family is not 7Th Day Adventists). As I grew up, things got harder.. what seemed to be "right" became annoying and I was no longer a little girl who HAD to do anything.....

and suddenly I'm on my own and I make my own decisions..

A wise man once said something at the dinner table and it hasn't left my mind since then...

he said "You know, sometimes I wish God didn't give me the power of decision."

(by the way that man was my best friends grandfather Grandpa Fletcher.. R.I.P)

Up to this day I refer to that statement as I indulge in thought and I obsess with it because its true... God gave ME the power to choose... to make my very own decisions... That is too much power (think about it). After realizing that I need to be wise enough to make the right decisions that would be beneficial to me... I begin to grow bitter as if I'm setting my youth aside. Surely I want to go out on Friday nights and sure every menu in Miami has shrimp and pork in it.. but if the bible teaches me it isn't right since I was a little girl... what would makes it right now? Ive learned that it isn't always what you want to do... but its what you NEED to do.

I went from having a little girl mentality to making my own decisions. I went from growing up learning a religion and having to choose if this is what my heart pursues at its own knowledge and concluding 'yes'. God is the only one I turn to that has never ever ever let me down... he has been the one to see me through my hardships and pain. So tell me again.. why wouldn't I choose him?

So at times when I race to find a place and I end up at no destination.... I feel lost, lonely, frustrated, unworthy, bitter, anxious; I then unhesitatingly turn to God. I feel for those who don't know God, and who don't turn to him in times of trouble or in times where peace is needed... I wonder where they find their safe place...?

He lives in my mind, soul, and body. Without Him, I would be nobody* I choose God.

One Yearrrr =)) 1-29-11

January 30th was my one year anniversary with my boyfriend Ryan! To say the least... it was amazing! It went something like this...

It was Saturday... and I was getting ready for him to pick me up for church... and right when I finished applying my makeup... he knocked on the door... only to find that he bought me this gorgeous arrangement of flowers!! It was full of exotic flowers =)

As we greeted each other with the whole "HAPPY ANNIVERSARY BABYYYY"... we went to my room as he gave me a stack full of cards!! lol... yes, he bought me six cards... and each with a significant number on the top left corner in which I was instructed to open accordingly. As I opened each card I was flabbergasted with love and paragraphs all with a distinct message... as I opened the last card... it went something like... open gift after this card and as i finished reading the card he handed me a pink little bag and inside was two Pandora charms for my Pandora bracelet!!! One read Forever Together (AWWW) and the other one was two red hearts with gold crowns on them.. SO cute =)

I was extremely excited to receive his gift.. and it meant so much to me.

1-30-2011 was a great day because Ryan requested the day off and he cooked for me! PASTA AND CHICKENNN! soo good! we planned a picnic...

We went to South Beach and brought blankets and food with Italian soda and white grape cider. We had such a great time. And of course I brought Tuesdays with Morrie =)) this is what our picnic looked like....

The sunset was gorgeous =) *By the way* these pictures were totally taken with a Blackberry! I left my camera in the car like a smart person "/

We had so many good! After we ate pasta we had desert =)) (my favorite part ALL THE TIME)

There was white grapes, raspberries, strawberries, bananas, whip cream, chocolate dipping sauce anddd Italian soda (Archer Farms) and white grape cider** YES cider! non-alcoholic!

I wanted the best of both worlds on my strawberry and I needed assistance...

*Cheers* to Ryan and I... many years to come =)

"Woman".

Sure models are beautiful but in reality you are your own model.
I am guilty of obsessing over my flaws and not overcoming the inevitable.. but lets face it: we’re never satisfied. My professor for Sociology had us watch a video on Women. The video entailed all kinds of media clippings suggesting that women have become an object. It provided examples from magazine clippings with women exposing their body parts such as thighs, breasts, torsos, butts... pretty much their whole body with bold wording that read “SEX TIPS”, “SEX THAT HE’LL NEVER FORGET”, “BIGGER BUTT EXERCISES”, “FLAT BELLY THIS SUMMER” and etc. Pretty much setting the impression at a level that focused on the exterior of a woman making the exterior inferior with the interior. After deconstructing the advertisements on the magazines, the video touch based with how the parts of a woman were being used as sex symbols. Parts such as lips giving woman the “luscious feeling HE will never forget”. And whoever “HE” is.. “Women” have become HIS sex slave. The media has taken away the beauty of being a woman and replaced it with promiscuity.

Then woman are slowly being brain washed to believe a lie… since their body isn’t as slim or curved like the woman on the magazine is, then a man won’t want her and then she begins to depreciate herself. That’s terrible.

The video also showed how willing woman are becoming to starve and showcase an unrealistic exterior. I must admit that after seeing this video it made me angry because I began to realize that a woman’s worth has become slim to none. It almost seems as though the media sees a woman as a sex toy and the only thing we are good for is sex or being an emblem for sex. Why is that?

Sure, who doesn’t want to look like the model on the front cover of a magazine? But the reality behind that is that those very same models are air brushed and modified repetitively before they can be exposed to the world. Of course the naked eye of a camera lens will not encompass the beauty from within a woman but the content of a magazine can… as well as how the picture is presented. Why is it that sex sells, but appropriateness is teased?

Instead of a woman attempting to achieve a sense of high self esteem, she looks for comfort through a magazine that expresses a bias structure towards what a woman “should look like”. And in that case, I am utterly against it. Even though I am not perfect and I myself have insecurities, the reality of it is, my body will never look like someone else’s body that is voluptuous or curvy. Sure I have other insecurities that have turned me out into feeling this way about myself and this is why I’m tackling it so hard.

My point is, like I said from the beginning “we are our own models”. When you look in the mirror without comparing yourself to anyone; it feels good. Women, you are beautiful inside and out! You don’t need your body to define who you are as a person! And if for any chance you feel bad about how you look; then change it. But don’t let a magazine dictate your self esteem and don’t let magazine articles enhance your need for sexual attention; just be.

Create your own media… =)

Sexuality Vs. Generation

*Disclaimer: I'm a blunt individual, and what I have to say stands for my own clarity. Everything that is written on my blog isn't intended to offend anyone.*



I got to thinking about how lightly sexuality is being taken today. While sitting in my Intro to Diversity class my professor began her lecture with the topic of sexuality and how little by little people are being more insensitive about it.



Most people look up to a higher power when it comes to terms with what makes certain "acts" "okay". Mostly everyone is well aware of the rap artist Dwayne Michael Carter Jr. aka "Weezy". A couple of years ago Wezzy showed affection to another male rap artist (Baby) on TV as he kissed him on the lips on 106 & Park. Why was that okay? Why was it okay for the kiss to be exposed on national television BUT the sight of gay men kissing is abominable? What made that action okay? Why is that we can come to terms with the actions of a famous rap artist and justify him kissing another man, but when a man kissing another man defines who he is - there is always a huge statement made...?

By the way; I'm not gay and I'm not agreeing that being gay is the way to be but I'm just bringing this action out in the open.

I just want to know: what has the industry provided for society to accept as okay? It seems as though if we take a popular rap artist and say he has herpes it will not spoil his reputation for the most part but instead it will minimize the severity of the actual disease. Hence this being an actual problem. In my opinion many people are neglecting the severity of what is wrong... its as if nothing is considered "wrong" now-a-days.... this is slowly becoming problematic.
My children are going to belong to a generation in which none of these things matter by then because will have just become another random act of what "people do"(kissing same sex on the lips) or what "people have" (diagnosed with an STD).

If my generation is preaching that these things are okay or in a sense they are being justified, then OUR future generations will reap what WE have sewn...


ahhh more to come :)