Random-ness....

While everyone would like to think their life is completely perfect; lets not forget that's impossible. I like to think that I can control every thing and every person around me, but who am I to do this? I cant even pass a couple math classes!

Lately I kill myself with how hard I can be on myself but truth is; You are you're own worse critic. I go through mental break-downs just trying to come to the conclusion of what I want to eat... its like: hmm.. I should eat a salad... but i want a cheese burger from McDonalds (but that's fattening) FML. I'm a mess LOL

Anyways.. this (blogging) was a way for me to reach out to the private written book I have living within me and I failed it for a while now... but if you should know.. I have moved out of my house=)
I now live in a three floor town house... I like it, but I miss having just one floor... BUT... my thighs look nicer ;)

I've been neglecting my gym zone as well... so while everyone was getting toned around me, I was getting fat! great '_' But I am definitely correcting that.... Ive been making a daily visit to the gym... I'm proud of the pain I'm experiencing... it makes me feel like I'm accomplishing something! Anyhow, my room is kinna blank... what should I do to it? I'm thinking wall paper... that's "in" now.. ;)

So that's all I have to ramble for now.. maybe tomorrow I'll be a "normal" blogger and pick just ONE topic.

-Becca

American Idol

Alright.. I used to say I dont watch TV.. but thats a lie NOW. Before it totally was the truth but now its a down right lie. Im totally hooked on American Idol.. and Ill admit the only reason why I even put MAXIMUM effort in watching it is because of Jennifer Lopez..

I've always been a fan of hers! She's so gorgeous and do you know of a 42 year old that dances like she does and shakes it like a polaroid picture better than she can?

NO. I didnt think so*

After getting used to seeing her on the screen as judge on American Idol, Ive come to the conclusion that.. I actually like the show!

My favorite contestant is CASEY!

He is too talented. He was voted off, then Randy saved him.. along with the other two judges- But not as drastically as Randy saved him! and then... boom.. there you go- he's back on. However; America knows NO talent when they see it..

*clearly... hence; "racks on racks on racks"... (SMH)

Casey was voted off for good this time. All I kept thinking was *This is some bull...*

But lucky for me Im going to buy American Idol tickets to see them on tour when they come to Orlando on July 24th! woot woot! Sorry if you wont be there... BUT CASEY WILL ;)

BTW 'Casey' is a guy hehehe ;)

Goals..

I cant believe I have abandoned my blog.. then again I can.
School got hectic and I wanted to quick like a month ago, and then I remembered I have a goal.

If you dont already know; I am currently in school to become a secondary school teacher (9-12 grade). Yes, I know what youre thinking... "you sure?" "you wont make much money" "you want to teach all of these bad kids" "why dont you take up something in the medical field where it will always be in demand?"...

(this is me answering all of the above questions)

Yes I am sure.

I dont plan on doing it for the money.

They are only bad because you make them believe they are.

I dont want to be in the medical field because I cant stand blood neither can I stand to see people in pain.

I have an internal dream that I cant seem to shake.

I believe that I can construct a great future for each and every student that I teach. Some teachers dont take advantage of what they are capable to do by teaching these kids. I cant wait to help students learn, read and write. It honestly isnt even about the money, its about happiness. My grandma always said "you have two choices in life; either you choose to be happy of you choose to mad." Well, I choose to be happy. I will love to wake up every day and go teach my students. Sure it isnt your fairy tale job, but I will make it fun for my students as well as for me!

People always talk about how "bad kids are". They are only bad because you tell them they're bad. If you spend youre whole life telling a kid he/she is bad then they will be bad (its not science). Anyways... what are your goals in life? what ever it may be... do it because you want to. Not because youre "supposed to". Technically youre not supposed to do a damn thing*

-Becca <3

Me, Myself and I....?

"Later that day I got to thinking about relationships. There are those that open you up to something new and exotic, those that are old and familiar, those that bring up lots of questions, those that bring you somewhere unexpected, those that bring you far from where you started, and those that bring you back. But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship is the one you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love the you you love, well, thats just fabulous." -SATC (sex and the city)

Somewhere between being a fundamental and insecure person I dive into a world of endless possibilities when I think about realtionships.. you know- where will this one go? how does he REALLY see me? do my insecurities linger in an inevidable ora in which I cannot help? do I endlessly lurk around and judge everyone because I cant seem to find my place in any relationship? UGH... and the list goes ON.

As my obsession with Sex and The City continues I love this quote because it cant become any more real than this. I find myself trying to control every step of every relationship except for the one I have with myself. It isnt exciting for me... how the heck do I even manage to begin a relationship with myself? Or maybe I have ample opportunities but I completely overlook them for what "I need to be doing"...? For instance, I go to get mani/pedi's all the time by myself... and I also take long walks by myself... but what excatly does it mean to establish an exciting relationship with myself?!?! --am I a little crazy for not understanding?

im just a bit controlling -.-

The Sermon

It should come as no surprise that I'm all about God and faith... When I have to give advice I usually always share that I am a firm believer in prayer.
Ironically enough, I don't always pray when I'm hit hard with the overload of life and everything that comes with living.
Today I went to church; the sermon was about prayer and how we must pray... My pastor directed us to a passage in the bible that was in the book of 2 Chronicles..
The passage said we must first humble ourselves, pray... (I can't remember the exact verse), as I read along with my pastor to the words in the bible
As God mentioned how important it is to pray, I began to believe what I preach even more so.
I am a firm believer in prayer and how miraculous prayer can be!
The pastor had a 9yr old come to the stage and say why prayer was important to him
And at first I'm like okay maybe u were given a script but absolutely not, he said sometimes God doesn't answer your prayer right away
Because it isn't fit in his eyes yet for you, and sometimes he won't give u what u ask for but Its for your own good.
Hearing this come from a 9 year old; shocked me for good. I couldn't believe that what he was saying was so true.
God is real and so amazing...
The pastor also went on about saying how the average person prays about 3-5min a day... And that's pathetic! Think about it.. If Jesus is supposed to be our friend then why are we minimizing our
Problems for him? If he wants it all and asks us to just give him our burdens, then how can we share our burndens with him let alone give them to him in within a time-span on 3-5 min?
I mean seriously... If Jesus was a friend of mine that was physically here and I was telling him my issues it would take way more than 3-5 minutes to tell him
Any story!!
So all I'm saying is... He asks for me to tell him my worries and my fears my pain and my happiness... Everything!
He has provided me with so much; I should give him more time in my day!

God is good all the time, All the time; God is good*
=)

Crazy assignment- Step 1

Okay so, today in my sociology class I ran through so many emotions... I felt like my professor was just pulling my leg altogether. First I got a D on my midterm- I totally suck at taking tests (feeling failure like) and then... he's in casual conversation with class and he decides to share that he has 11 dogs, a donkey and a horse (feeling upset lol) I mean seriously? So I literally asked him if he was kidding only to find out he was very serious -as he continued to share exactly what kind of dogs lived in his house. So all along Im thinking the guy is a clean person because he always shows up clean and ironed and he's pretty smart & intellectual- but now he pist in my corn flakes (as my boyfriend would say) because he has eleven dogs that live inside of his house. whatever. Anyways.. every one is free to do what they please I might just be a little off today lol.

Just when I thought I was done running a train through my emotions, he puts us into groups. I just happen to be in Group 7. Cool, not at all coincidental since 7 is my favorite number... I just so happen to be the only girl in the group (3 guys). Our next step in class was to exchange information with our group members and pick a little piece of paper from a little box and that little piece of paper entailed the topic to which our group had to "research". One of the members of the group chose the best topic of life (sarcastically said) As I held my breath hoping for a civil topic.... I read in BIG BOLD LETTERS (FETISH NIGHT CLUBS -BONDAGE/FOOT) (feeling of confusion).

As the class continues being informative- he explains that which ever topic we have chosen we must put ourselves within the specified environment and see from a selfless point of view the different ways and things these people do/feel. So I'm thinking to myself... are you kidding me (once again he wasn't). I must admit it will be interesting but just know--- this is step one of the process and I cant wait to let you know how crazy it will be when I go to these fetish night clubs and experience some crazy crap. I let you know if someone goes hard when they see my feet LOL

&& that's ALL folks...

p/s: wait for Step TWO.

In my mind.. P.A.R.A.D.I.S.E.

Paradise to me is probably cliche in the minds of all others but ask me if I care?.. if by any chance youre asking; NO. I care for a completely peaceful and relaxing journey that entails nature and everything that is sewn within what it reaps. I want to be in a land full of green with different shades of colors... exotic flowers... random flows of water all along the path... I would like to walk along the path of some sort of sand in which I can feel like one intertwined with the wind...

If I had magical powers I'd be here right now... just staring in awe..... wouldnt you?

And If I were here now I'd probably be bathing in the waterfall; most refreshing bath of life*

This picture just gives out such peace doesnt it?

I dont do hiking... but I would on this path ;)

And just when I feel like giving up and feeling like there has got to be more to life... I would walk this path.. (if only it exists..)